Getting it all out there!

Today was a really depressing day.. I spent all day by myself, like I do everyday while the kids r in school. I really don't like to talk on the phone. I actually can't stand my phone b/c only having relationships threw phone or even online is depressing for me.. I want to see an actual person, to hang out with. I am soo trying hard to not end up back in the rut I was in, not being sociable & back in my shell, It's hard thought. Especially when I only have kids to talk to & their not really into talking to me, just one another. Today I felt invisible, like I don't exsist. I try to reach out & get myself out there but I can only do so much. When will this cycle ever end!! Maybe getting a job will help me but @ the same time a job won't help b/c you really can't b friends with those peps you work with & if the kids ever have something @ school I wouldn't b able to b there for them. I have no support, Tommy's @ work all day & it's just me & the kids. My kids aren't the problem, it's just me. Today just sucked!!! I'm just having one of those days :(